DISQUS

The Germaphobe: Survival Tips: Public Restrooms

  • hoverpoo · 6 months ago
    i agree with your techniques! minus urinal usage.. which i know nothing about.

    In case of no toilet seat covers, I also unroll about 25 sections of toilet paper and layer it over the toilet seat carefully without touching it. Then, I proceed to hover over the toilet paper.. extra butt protection, when drunk or post-marathon when those quads are screaming out in pain.
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    I appreciate this commitment to sanitation.
  • suki · 6 months ago
    And here I thought a spacious stall was good, so you wouldn't touch the sides... But of course, they are more popular! OH NO.
  • hoverpoo · 6 months ago
    ditto! i now see the light!
  • Albert · 6 months ago
    coming next week: "The Mitt"
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    The Mitt is, unfortunately, an obsolete method. It had its day in the past.
  • Albert · 6 months ago
    also use the stall closest to the door as ppl typically "rush" to the largest (as mentioned) and most private sanctuary
  • Keane · 6 months ago
    Dear G,

    Is it true the last stall is also the most popular?

    Additional tip: work those quads and learn to balance and you can lift the seat with your shoe!
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    Yes it is. The psychology behind this is simple - it's the simplest decision a mind can make. Otherwise you would have to consider which middle stall is better?
  • hoverpoo · 6 months ago
    Oh good. the last stall at work is also the biggest. AVOID!
  • neil · 6 months ago
    In my experience, marketing type people use their phones in the stalls. I'm not sure this leads me to believe in their sanitary state at all!
  • suki · 6 months ago
    Oh yeah, that's gross! I don't understand when people answer their phones on the loo. :/
  • hoverpoo · 6 months ago
    If a toilet has just been sanitized and the seat is left up, should i use my shoe to pop the seat down (for my girl booty), or should I use 5 sections of toilet paper (after discarding the first 3 sections)? I'm sure the shoe is not super clean as well.

    thank you in advance.
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    I use the toilet paper, otherwise known as "The Mitt". Post coming soon.
  • suki · 6 months ago
    Like when the bathrooms have been cleaned the night before? I like to use a few sheets of toilet paper. I've been informed that it's called creating THE MITT. Don't worry. Ryan will cover it in the near future. Stay tuned!
  • rjl · 6 months ago
    does that mean no public restroom sex?
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    I'm not sure the "other brain" cares too much about cleanliness :\
  • rjl · 6 months ago
    especially when you're fucked up. and at a rave. and a whore.
  • neil · 6 months ago
    Dear G,

    Have you seen this stuff yet?

    http://radar.net/people/neilathotep/post/386983...
  • thegermaphobe · 6 months ago
    I have not! Where is this?? I would like to mark this restroom as a "Safehouse"
  • neil · 6 months ago
    Sadly, it's not a general purpose Safehouse, but as it it's at my work, it is for me :)